Hi, all. Second-year student at PCO here.
I am reaching out because the atmosphere amongst most of our student body, at least in my class and from who I've spoken with since I started, is absolutely horrible. We are exhausted, normalizing mental breakdowns, experiencing absurd levels of Imposter Syndrome, and we are watching our classmates drop like flies. I personally feel that I am not allowed to feel like I am making progress. Ever. The expectations, especially during practicals, are so high that they are designed to be failed. I have watched myself degrade as a person since I began here (inb4 yes, I have a therapist and a psychiatrist - actually, I see a therapist at the school, and they are so overbooked, mostly with optometry students, that there is a strict limit on how many sessions we can have per academic year and I will likely need to see an additional outside therapist soon), and I legitimately went through stages of grief during my first year, realizing how toxic this place is and how much it does not harbor a constructive academic challenge but rather one that tears you apart and leaves you hating the career you were so passionate about when you first applied.
My conflict is that I don't know if this is just how Optometry School is (which then, in my opinion, means this is a systemic issue because this dynamic and elitism could absolutely be avoided while still learning what we need to learn) or if this is an experience from those at PCO specifically. I imagine it is a mix of the two, but, guys, I am at a point where I wish the school to be audited for signs of emotional and mental abuse.
To those who are enrolled at other schools (as well as alumni if you'd like, and also those at PCO), could you please tell me your story so far? How is your mental health right now? Has your self image changed since joining the program? Do you feel respected as a person, or looked down upon? Do you feel like your professors are colleagues? Are accommodations offered for you when you need them? Does your school try to fix the root of issues, or does it simply aim for the branches? How about your practicals? Are the expectations so ungodly high that perfectly able students are being dismissed for unnecessary reasons? Or are you given a chance that feels truly fair to you? Do you feel like you actually learn the information given to you? Or are you tested on how quickly you can memorize word associations and flash cards? Do you see your preceptors and attendings as guides, or as catalysts of shame and intimidation?
I have been told that, after the second year at PCO, it gets "much better". I am banking on that, as that is the only thing getting me through these weeks currently. Whether that is true or not, what is happening right now is not okay. I feel that a lot of graduates leave and never want to touch the school again, so they don't report what happened or file any type of complaint. I don't blame them, but, right now I have that anger and pain sitting at the forefront and I want to use it to help future students here if possible.
Thank you for reading this, and thank you to anyone who shares their experience.
I am reaching out because the atmosphere amongst most of our student body, at least in my class and from who I've spoken with since I started, is absolutely horrible. We are exhausted, normalizing mental breakdowns, experiencing absurd levels of Imposter Syndrome, and we are watching our classmates drop like flies. I personally feel that I am not allowed to feel like I am making progress. Ever. The expectations, especially during practicals, are so high that they are designed to be failed. I have watched myself degrade as a person since I began here (inb4 yes, I have a therapist and a psychiatrist - actually, I see a therapist at the school, and they are so overbooked, mostly with optometry students, that there is a strict limit on how many sessions we can have per academic year and I will likely need to see an additional outside therapist soon), and I legitimately went through stages of grief during my first year, realizing how toxic this place is and how much it does not harbor a constructive academic challenge but rather one that tears you apart and leaves you hating the career you were so passionate about when you first applied.
My conflict is that I don't know if this is just how Optometry School is (which then, in my opinion, means this is a systemic issue because this dynamic and elitism could absolutely be avoided while still learning what we need to learn) or if this is an experience from those at PCO specifically. I imagine it is a mix of the two, but, guys, I am at a point where I wish the school to be audited for signs of emotional and mental abuse.
To those who are enrolled at other schools (as well as alumni if you'd like, and also those at PCO), could you please tell me your story so far? How is your mental health right now? Has your self image changed since joining the program? Do you feel respected as a person, or looked down upon? Do you feel like your professors are colleagues? Are accommodations offered for you when you need them? Does your school try to fix the root of issues, or does it simply aim for the branches? How about your practicals? Are the expectations so ungodly high that perfectly able students are being dismissed for unnecessary reasons? Or are you given a chance that feels truly fair to you? Do you feel like you actually learn the information given to you? Or are you tested on how quickly you can memorize word associations and flash cards? Do you see your preceptors and attendings as guides, or as catalysts of shame and intimidation?
I have been told that, after the second year at PCO, it gets "much better". I am banking on that, as that is the only thing getting me through these weeks currently. Whether that is true or not, what is happening right now is not okay. I feel that a lot of graduates leave and never want to touch the school again, so they don't report what happened or file any type of complaint. I don't blame them, but, right now I have that anger and pain sitting at the forefront and I want to use it to help future students here if possible.
Thank you for reading this, and thank you to anyone who shares their experience.